// replace references to player name and god
            msg = replace_all(msg, "@player_name@", you.your_name);
            msg = replace_all(msg, "@player_god@",
                              you.religion == GOD_NO_GOD ? "atheism"
                                : god_name(you.religion, coinflip()));

w:4

w:6

w:2

w:3

#sings
@The_weapon@ hums a little @tune_or_melody@.

#plain sings (58)
w:60
@singing@

@The_weapon@ breaks into glorious song!

#instrumental sounds (19)
w:15
@singing_sword_instruments@
#speaks (30)
w:25
@speaking@

@The_weapon@ sings.

# These should be really rare. (12)
w:2
@real_song@

@The_weapon@ sings loudly.

%%%%
singing

@The_weapon@ sings off-key.

# sings what?
@The_weapon@ @sings_hums_whistles@ a @what_kind@ @tune_or_melody@.
@The_weapon@ @sings_or_hums@ an eerie @tune_or_melody@.
w:5
@The_weapon@ @sings_or_hums@ a slow and mournful tune.
w:25
@The_weapon@ strikes up @strikes_up_what@.
In a hysterical voice, @the_weapon@ strikes up a march.

@The_weapon@ whines plaintively.

@The_weapon@ sings a folk song.
@The_weapon@ chants a little melody.
@The_weapon@ sings a deeply moving song.
@The_weapon@ plays a requiem for the unknown sword.
@The_weapon@ hums a slow waltz.
@The_weapon@ sings a little jingle.

@The_weapon@ wails mournfully.

@The_weapon@ plays an overture.
@The_weapon@ @composes_or_sings@ a @hymn_or_song@ about @song_theme@.

@The_weapon@ practices its scales.

@The_weapon@ @composes_or_sings@ a hymn praising @player_god@.

@The_weapon@ lilts tunefully.

@The_weapon@ launches into a @hymn_or_song@ on @song_theme@.

@The_weapon@ yodels.

@The_weapon@ @composes_or_sings@ a ballad about your adventures.

@The_weapon@ hums tunelessly.

# practising
@The_weapon@ practices its scales.

@The_weapon@ sings a quivering drawn-out note.

@The_weapon@ @sings_or_hums@ a catchy @tune_or_melody@.

@The_weapon@ trains the @kind_of_scales@ scales.
@The_weapon@ plays a couple of bars.
@The_weapon@ @nearly_or_clearly@ @hits_or_misses@ the concert pitch.
@The_weapon@ repeatedly practises the high pitch.

@The_weapon@ hums a slow waltz.

@The_weapon@ sings @several@ chords at once.

@The_weapon@ whistles merrily.

# more singing
@The_weapon@ breaks into glorious song!

#Beethoven
@The_weapon@ goes "Da-da-da-dum".

@The_weapon@ sings.

@The_weapon@ chants serenely.

@The_weapon@ @sings_or_whistles@ loudly.

@The_weapon@ trills happily.

@The_weapon@ sings off-key.

@The_weapon@ chants a little melody.

@The_weapon@ whines plaintively.

@The_weapon@ sings a deeply moving song.

@The_weapon@ wails mournfully.

@The_weapon@ hums an eerie @tune_or_melody@.

@The_weapon@ lilts tunefully.

@The_weapon@ @sings_or_hums@ a slow and mournful tune.

@The_weapon@ yodels.

@The_weapon@ launches into yet another solo.

@The_weapon@ hums tunelessly.

@The_weapon@ strikes up a merry @tune_or_melody@.

@The_weapon@ keens wildly.

@The_weapon@ emits a series of high-pitched trills.

@The_weapon@ whistles merrily.

@The_weapon@ composes a new song.

#Beethoven
@The_weapon@ goes "Da-da-da-dum".

@The_weapon@ makes a sound as if to clear its throat.

@The_weapon@ chants serenely.

@The_weapon@ sings a quivering drawn-out note.

@The_weapon@ trills happily.

@The_weapon@ sings a little jingle.

@The_weapon@ launches into yet another solo.

@The_weapon@ raucously launches into song.

@The_weapon@ emits a series of high-pitched trills.

@The_weapon@ strikes up a funeral march.

@The_weapon@ tries to sing in harmony with itself.

@The_weapon@ merrily whistles a melody.

@The_weapon@ provides the musical accompaniment for each of your actions.

In a hysterical voice, @the_weapon@ strikes up a march.

@The_weapon@ composes a new song.

@The_weapon@ sings @several@ chords at once.

@The_weapon@ raucously launches into song.

@The_weapon@ trains the @kind_of_scales@ scales.

@The_weapon@ merrily whistles a melody.

@The_weapon@ plays a requiem for the unknown sword.

@The_weapon@ @nearly_or_clearly@ @hits_or_misses@ the concert pitch.

@The_weapon@ gives you a private @audition@.

@The_weapon@ sings a song about @song_theme@.

@The_weapon@ @sings_or_hums@ away to itself.

@The_weapon@ composes a hymn about @song_theme@.

@The_weapon@ lets out a series of bird calls.

@The_weapon@ composes a ballad about your adventures.

%%%%
# instruments and other noises
singing_sword_instruments

#imitates instruments
@The_weapon@ makes a twanging sound.
@The_weapon@ chimes melodiously.

w:140
@instrumental_noises@

@The_weapon@ chimes harmoniously.

@The_weapon@ tinkles.

@The_weapon@ holds a dissonant chord.

@The_weapon@ rings like a bell.

@The_weapon@ tunes itself.

@The_weapon@ imitates a saxophone.

@The_weapon@ beats time.

@The_weapon@ chimes like a gong.

%%%%
# also used by noisy weapons
instrumental_noises

@The_weapon@ applauds itself.

@Your_weapon@ makes a sound as if to clear its throat.

@The_weapon@ goes toot-toot!

@Your_weapon@ makes a twanging sound.

@The_weapon@ does a drum roll.

@Your_weapon@ chimes melodiously.

@The_weapon@ holds a dissonant chord.

@Your_weapon@ chimes harmoniously.

@The_weapon@ beats time.

@Your_weapon@ tinkles.

#speaks
@The_weapon@ says, "Hi! I'm the Singing Sword!"

@Your_weapon@ rings like a bell.
@Your_weapon@ imitates a saxophone.
@Your_weapon@ imitates the bagpipes.
@Your_weapon@ emits a flourish of trumpets.
@Your_weapon@ tootles away.
@Your_weapon@ chimes like a gong.
@Your_weapon@ applauds itself.
@Your_weapon@ goes toot-toot!
@Your_weapon@ does a drum roll.
%%%%
speaking

@The_weapon@ chants, "I am golden and pointed, and with blood well anointed."
@The_weapon@ dictates a lengthy tome entitled 'The Well-Tempered Blade'.

@The_weapon@ curses its smith: "I was supposed to be the Stinging Sword!"

@The_weapon@ compliments itself on its singing voice.
@The_weapon@ asks you about your opinion on @musical_topic@.

@The_weapon@ offers to sing all your favourite songs.

@The_weapon@ muses on the connection between 'duet' and 'duel'.
@The_weapon@ wails, "I am too young to rust!"
@The_weapon@ comments about your taste in music.
@The_weapon@ complains about your lack of musical enthusiasm.
@The_weapon@ tries to entice you into a canon.
@The_weapon@ tells you about its plans for a grandiose opera.

@The_weapon@ grumbles, "I guess an audience of one is better than none..."
@The_weapon@ brightly asks, "How about a duet?"
# These should happen about half as often.
w:50
@rare_speaking@
%%%%
rare_speaking
@The_weapon@ says, "Hi!  I'm the Singing Sword!"
@The_weapon@ chants, "I am golden and pointed, and with blood well anointed."
@The_weapon@ dictates a lengthy tome entitled 'The Well-Tempered Blade'.
@The_weapon@ says, "Whips just don't cut it for me, don't you agree?"
@The_weapon@ chants, "Rather stab than club, rather slice than rub!"
w:5
@The_weapon@ explains all about @musical_topic@.
w:5
@The_weapon@ gives a lengthy lecture on @musical_topic@.
@The_weapon@ curses its smith, "I was supposed to be the Stinging Sword!"

@The_weapon@ chants, "Rather stab than club, rather slice than rub!"

@The_weapon@ asks, "What song would you like to be played for your funeral?"
@The_weapon@ announces, "I dedicate these songs to @player_name@!"
@The_weapon@ says, "Hey!  Are you even listening?"
%%%%
real_song
@The_weapon@ roars, "Silence is golden, golden ..."
@The_weapon@ happily sings, "... another one bites the dust!"
@The_weapon@ @sings_or_whistles@, "Always look on the bright side of death ..."

@The_weapon@ says, "Whips just don't cut it for me, don't you agree?"

@The_weapon@ sings, "Where have all the monsters gone?"

@The_weapon@ muses on the connection between 'duet' and 'duel'.

@The_weapon@ sings, "Song sung blue, everybody knows one ..."

@Your_weapon@ wails, "I am too young to rust!"

@The_weapon@ sings, "Thank you for the music..."
@The_weapon@ wails, "Look what they done to my song!"
@The_weapon@ sings, "Pop! Goes the weasel."
@The_weapon@ sings, "Obladi oblada, life goes on ..."
@The_weapon@ sings, "Ain't no stopping us now ..."
@The_weapon@ sings, "Ninety-nine potions of booze on the wall ..."
# Jingle Bells, misunderstood
@The_weapon@ sings, "What fun it is to ride and sing a slaying song tonight!"

#speaks (48)
@weapon_chatter@

#speaks

#makes noises (48)
@weapon_noises@
%%%%
weapon_chatter

@Your_weapon@ inquires about your family.
@Your_weapon@ comments on the weather.

@Your_weapon@ cries, "Don't ditch me yet!  I promise to be forever silent."

@Your_weapon@ shouts, "This level is mine!  Um, ours."

@Your_weapon@ groans, "That's what you call fighting?"
@Your_weapon@ shouts, "Left! No, no, right!".

@Your_weapon@ shouts a battle cry!
@Your_weapon@ shouts, "Onwards!  It's kill or die!"

@Your_weapon@ says, "Why don't you say something for a change?"

@Your_weapon@ grouses, "Silence can be so depressing."
@Your_weapon@ compliments you on your taste in weapons.
@Your_weapon@ attempts to teach you some tongue twisters.

@Your_weapon@ asks, "Did you take a vow of silence?"

@Your_weapon@ compares you unfavourably to its previous owner.

@Your_weapon@ shouts a battle cry!

w:30
@rare_chatter@
%%%%
rare_chatter

@Your_weapon@ shouts, "Onwards!  It's kill or die!"

@Your_weapon@ shouts, "This level is mine!  Um, ours."
@Your_weapon@ cries, "Don't ditch me yet!  I promise to be forever silent."

@Your_weapon@ groans, "That's what you call fighting?"
@Your_weapon@ shouts, "Left! No, no, right!".
@Your_weapon@ says, "Why don't you say something for a change?"
@Your_weapon@ asks, "Did you take a vow of silence?"

@Your_weapon@ grouses, "Silence can be so depressing."

@Your_weapon@ prematurely composes your obituary.

#makes noises

%%%%
weapon_noises

@Your_weapon@ howls like a wolf.
@Your_weapon@ whimpers.
@Your_weapon@ screams hysterically.

@Your_weapon@ hiccups loudly.
@Your_weapon@ erupts into laughter!
@Your_weapon@ starts to sob noisily.
@Your_weapon@ goes tick-tock.
@Your_weapon@ starts beeping.

@Your_weapon@ inquires about your family.

@Your_weapon@ comments on the weather.

@Your_weapon@ makes a tutting noise.

@Your_weapon@ lets out a series of bird calls.

@Your_weapon@ parrots the noises around you.

# end weapon chatter

w:20
@instrumental_noises@

sings_or_hums
sings
hums
%%%%
sings_or_whistles
sings
whistles
%%%%
sings_hums_whistles
sings
hums
whistles
%%%%
composes_or_sings
composes
sings
%%%%
what_kind
little
catchy
merry
%%%%
strikes_up_what
w:5
a slow and mournful tune
a merry @tune_or_melody@
a funeral march
%%%%
hymn_or_song
hymn
song
%%%%

sings_or_hums
sings
hums
%%%%

%%%%
audition
audition
concerto

musical_topic
acoustics
voice harmonics
the history of music
the theory of melody
rhythms and time
%%%%

Weapon noises are handled differently in that all of the above

Weapon noises are handled differently in that most of the above

@player_name@ is expanded as above, as is @player_god@, though for 
atheists it returns "atheism".